09.10.2025

All I wanted was chai — what I got was a crash course in chaos management.

When it comes to chai lattes, I am - in the parlance of Gen Z – obsessed.

Ever since my first chai latte at Starbucks© more than a decade ago, I’ve been hooked. I’ve spent so much money on chai lattes, I could have financed a European vacation. Then again, why go to Europe once when you can sip a chai every day? (Also, as far as I know, no one in Paris gives you loyalty stars and a free beverage on your birthday, so there's that).

Recently, though, I decided to try making a chai latte at home for two reasons:

1. I could make and drink them whenever I wanted.

2. I host a weekly meeting for a sub-committee of a non-profit organization, and the other three members also enjoy chai.

So I made my first purchase toward becoming a stay-at-home barista: whole milk, TAZO® chai (available at Costco®) and a small electric frothing machine.

The frother and I did not get along. Despite my reading the directions – a first for me – the milk would constantly erupt from it’s non-secure-lid like Old Faithful, sending a river of liquid cascading across my counter and down the front of my kitchen cabinets. After multiple attempts to figure out how to make it work, it has now been banished to “Donation Bin Purgatory” where it will live out its days next to Air Fryer Number Three and a set of muffin tins.

But I’m no quitter. I leveled up and purchased an actual milk steamer.

The steamer came with instructions written by someone who aspires to learn English and has a deep aversion to steam-producing products. The directions were so intimidating (CAUTION, CAUTION, CAUTION) that by the end, I wasn’t sure if I was making tea or defusing a bomb.

 I was unwilling to use the machine without additional adult supervision, so I asked the other committee members if anyone was interested in a barista class, and if so, could they please come a half hour before our meeting so we could train.

It turns out that chai, milk and a steamer are not the only things you need to make a Starbucks-like chai at home.

Additional accoutrements include:

• a small pitcher to steam the milk

• another pitcher to boil the tea

• a dish rag to clean the steam stick

• every potholder and oven glove you own

• yellow CAUTION construction tape to place around your cooking area

I admit that dealing with steam – or any type of pressurized cooking – scares me, but I was determined to give it a try, so as one committee member read the instructions, the other committee member served us a refreshing adult aperitif which gave me that extra jolt of courage needed to move forward. I knew if I didn’t use that machine today, it would join its errant cousin in the purgatory bin.

Results:

• Round One: the water wasn’t hot enough, No steam. Cold milk. Lukewarm disappointment.

• Round Two: the steamer ran out of steam, literally.

• Round Three: the milk was finally hot enough, but the foam – which is the entire point – failed to appear.  Thanks to the generosity of a fellow member of the group, the canned foam creamer from Whole Foods Market© saved the day.

But it still wasn’t like the chai from Starbucks, so this morning, I decided to go solo with the steamer, and here’s what I learned.

• If you turn off the heat, the steamer stops steaming. Revolutionary insight, I know.

• Steaming requires holding the top of a boiling pot steady so the water blasts upward, while simultaneously turning on the steam wand and holding the milk pitcher during the foaming process (which explains the oven mitts, potholders and caution tape).

•  Maneuvering the milk under the steam wand is a game of reflexes that should be reserved for Olympic athletes and graduates of Hogwarts.

While the milk to tea ratio is still a work in progress, I’m simply grateful not to have suffered any burns from this experiment, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s a win.

Just take my money, Starbucks – you’ve earned it.

“Tea for Two,” music by Vincent Youmans, lyrics by Irving Caesar, from No, No, Nanette (1925).